A Thousand Pardons

After I posted my little screed yesterday I had further thoughts about my comment regarding Bush pardoning people by the busload as his term neared its crashing conclusion. In a nutshell, here they are. The thoughts, I mean.

If I were George Bush–a concept almost as ghastly and horrifying as George Bush being George Bush–I would take off the gloves at this point and just get nuts. I mean, the pathetic asshole’s legacy is already circling the drain, the multitudes whom he has wronged and/or offended will make sure the Worst President Ever label clings to him like a lapdancer, and the only possible saving grace to his administration–comprehensive immigration reform legislation–will be torpedoed by the very xenophobic, nativist, wheyhead element that is otherwise his base. He’ll be left with nothing, and when you’ve got nothing, you have nothing to lose.

So with that in mind, in his shit-caked shoes I would pardon Gonzales this very minute. Then I would pardon DeLay. Then I would get the word out that any attempt to expose in the press, or to pursue charges against, or even to just publicly accuse any administration staffer or political ally of any wrongdoing, would bring an immediate blanket presidential pardon for that individual.

Oh sure, cries of “Impeach” would resound across the land and in the halls of Congress, but W has the most ironclad impeachment insurance in the history of the republic: Dick Cheney. Who has probably been secretly pardoned already.

I’m not endorsing this idea, mind you, or suggesting that it would in any way be appropriate, defensible, or warranted. I’m just saying that if I were George Bush, I’d do it. Because let’s face it, it’s just such a George Bush thing to do.


One Response to “A Thousand Pardons”

  1. JWockyRobertson Says:

    Why can’t I make comments on the post before this one? This wordpress is toying with me. But as for replacing the AG, Harriet Miers is tan, fit and rested. Or to put it as they do down Texas way, leathery, post-menopausal and out of work. And that Pat Robertson law school seems to have a pretty deep bench of a certain ilk. (There’s an ilk mustache joke in there somewhere.)

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