Archive for January, 2008

WHY I’M FOUNDING “POLITICAL HUMORISTS FOR ROMNEY”

January 18, 2008

Because of what you can rhyme “Mitt” with.

And along those lines, have you seen those photos of Giuliani in drag at various alpha-males-let-their-hair-down events? Does the phrase “Fruity Rudy” come to mind? You can bet it has come to the minds of the media snipers in the Romney and Huckabee camps. The hit pieces have already been written.

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AT LONG LAST: PUSSY THAT GLOWS IN THE DARK! WAIT. WHAT? NEVER MIND.

January 18, 2008

There was a news item about three weeks ago, evidently buried in the tide of holiday- and campaign-related media content, to the effect that South Korean scientists had genetically engineered and successfully cloned cats that glow red when illuminated by ultraviolet light. The scientists did a fairly good job of spinning this feat as technically significant and appropriate, declaring that it constituted a major step toward developing genetic technology for medical purposes.

“The ability to manipulate the fluorescent protein and use this to clone cats opens new horizons for artificially creating animals with human illnesses linked to genetic causes,” the Ministry of Science and Technology explained.

Yeah, well, bullshit. I’m sure there were dozens of other ways to accomplish this great stride, to demonstrate its manipulative potential. But I think we all know why this particular tack was chosen. Very simply, because in mulling over their options, the incurable geek part of the scientists’ brains said, “Whoa. You know what? We could make cats that glow in the dark! In the fucking DARK! How cool is that!”

Okay, they said it in Korean, but the language of geekhood is universal.

Still no cure for leukemia, diabetes, Hodgkins or AIDS, but now you can read by the light of Puffball.