Archive for November, 2008

NOW THAT I HAVE STOPPED WEEPING WITH JOY AND RELIEF AND CAN FINALLY SEE MY KEYBOARD CLEARLY…

November 12, 2008

 

 

Thought #1

As we celebrate the outcome of the election and our impending deliverance from the powers of darkness, let us be sobered by certain grim realities, such as one particular play on words that we will soon come to loathe:

 

Obamelot,

Obamelot,

A transparent invocation of Camelot,

Which we’ll now see and hear a lot,

Burma Shave.

 

Thought #2

Begin the countdown to the photo op with young Sasha Obama peeking out from under her daddy’s Oval Office desk ala John John Kennedy:  10…9…8…

 

Thought #3

There is a campaign being mounted (a word carefully chosen) by Peruvian Hairless Dog fanciers to convince Obama to choose  member of the Peruvian Hairless breed as the official White House puppy for the girls.  A photo of one of these dogs has been all over the Internet.  The backers are promoting it because it is hairless, which means that beside being somewhat creepy looking, the breed is hypoallergenic, an important factor because one of the Barak daughters is allergic.  The Peruvian Hairlass breed, incidentally, dates back 3,000 years (your McCain reference here), and based on appearances, is evidently an example of a biological line in which evolution has simply lost interest.  

 

Mind you, no Peruvian Hairless has a prayer of getting anywhere near the White House, since it completely lacks the fluffy/cuddly physiology that defines puppyhood as we know it.  But the PH does have one odd angle going for it.  You know those Mad magazine-type features that pop up occasionally here on there on the theme, “When The Person Matches The Dog”? 

 

There’s always a jowly banker type with a bulldog, a snooty matron with feathered hat and her Pekingese, a lean, dour undertaker type and his bloodhound.  Well, in that sense, the Peruvian Hairless Dog is tailor made for Obama.  Not the hairless part, although compared to Bush and Clinton, Barak is cut close to the scalp.  Rather, the resemblence arises from the PH’s narrow head, the slender and leggy body, and–there’s just no way to avoid this–the ears, which President elect and dog alike have extending from their head like satellite dishes.

 

The Obama-Peruvian Hairless comparison is not the most attractive metaphorical image, I admit, and I certainly mean no disrespect.   Indeed, it’s a HUGE improvement over the metaphoric image we’ve been living with for he last eight years: George Bush out walking his weasel.

 

Thought #4

Been following the ugly backwash from the Proposition 8 outcome, especially the blacks versus gays angle, the intersection of righteousness and hypocrisy, civil rights and homophobia.  And it draws me back to the latter-60s, when racial civil rights and Black Power were at their muscle-flexing zenith.

  

There was this one spin-off of the racial civil rights movement that was beginning to stir, and although almost nobody was taking it seriously, I was writing a weekly column for the Daily Cal and it occurred to me that maybe Gay Lib was something to give some serious thought and respect to.  And I remember exactly why I was moved to write the column.  As I recall, more or less, what I wrote then:

“If you measure the size of the deck that is stacked against any given social group by the glossary of invective and vituperation that is launched against them, specifically by the vulgar slang synonyms that are applied to those in the group, it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that we, meaning the majority of us, are as prejudiced against homosexuals as we are against any other minority, sexual or racial or religious or otherwise, in America.”

 

I’ll let you mentally tick off the racist terms while I run through the homophobic ones…or at least those that I, a devout hetero, are aware of.

Homo…queer…faggot…swish…flit…nancy…nellie…cocksucker…fudge packer…rump ranger…turd burglar…pasty face…butt boy…poofter…dick smoker…pervert…

It’s a litany of bigotry that should serve to remind us that prejudice, like water, will fill whatever space is available.