Archive for April, 2009

I CONSTANTLY NEED NEW READING GLASSES, BUT MY APOCALYPTIC VISION REMAINS THE ENVY OF YOUR AVERAGE HAWK, THANK YOU

April 21, 2009

 

 

Hidden Political Agenda of the American Affiliation of Right Wing News Media and Talk Show Pimps and Their GOP Handlers:

 

1) Attack any and every aspect of Obama’s administration, policies, appearance, religion, family, body language (“He leaned forward when he shook that Arab asshole’s hand!  Bush never did that!”  [Indeed no; Bush was holding the asshole’s hand.]) and everything else that may present an opportunity for harsh and vicious criticism.  Be just as insanely angry as you can possibly be in your loathing for and denunciation of Barack Obama.

  

2) Organize large gatherings of people as furious, irrational, hotheaded and self-centric as you are.  Hold marches.  Carry signs.  Bedeck yourselves with small paper packets of popular beverage vegetation (easier than it sounds) if that’s your idea of agitprop.  Rant.  Chant.  Foment.  Court the alliance of the most dangerous right wing fringes (i.e. the ones whose attitude is not just that they should have as many automatic assault weapons as possible, but that they can’t wait for the collapse of the government so that they can use them), and get as many of them together in a public demonstration as possible.  Make it a big demonstration, to ensure that there will be plenty of law enforcement personnel on hand to keep order.

 

3) Cross your fingers.  With any luck at all, there will be a provocative misstep on the part of someone, followed by an overreaction, and, if you’re really on a roll, a fatality or two. 

 

4) Begin beating the absolute shit out of the agreed-upon talking point:  

“It’s just like the last wartime Democrat president, LBJ — he’s tearing the country apart!”

 

5) Activate campaign fundraising network apparatus.

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