Archive for June, 2009

GRACELAND AND NEVERLAND: THE BOOGA BOOGA FACTOR. ALSO, THE 43RD TIME TODAY YOU WILL READ THE PHRASE “SANFORD AND SIN”

June 27, 2009

The woman is cursed!  No question about it.  That would be Lisa Marie Presley, of course.  Her dad, Elvis, The King, drops dead at the tender age of 42.  Her ex-husband, the King of Pop, does likewise at the even tenderer, as he played it, age of 50.  How much plainer could it be?  For the love of God, don’t let this woman anywhere near either Larry the talk-show relic or Stephen the storyteller.  Especially Larry.

 

Has this been an absolute blowjob of a week for Mitt Romney, or what?  Of the maybe, being generous, four GOP officeholders who could remotely be considered young phenoms with MVP potential, and hence serious competition for the Mittster in 2012, two, count ’em two, have in less than ten days plunged like twin Acapulco cliff divers into the bottomless lagoon.  By the same token, probably no white man in America wept more sincerely at the death of the Gloved One than Mitt, knowing how it yanked the klieg lights away from that pathetic sap in the Columbia statehouse. 

 

And while we’re on that subject: Is nobody else going to come out and state the painfully obvious truth about Mark Sanford?  Which is that he is an almost classic illustration of the middle-aged male having what has traditionally been known as a “nervous breakdown.”  A normally rational, intelligent guy suddenly begins abandoning all common sense, behaving not just capriciously but self-destructively, often in pursuit of some impossible personal fantasy.  Or a dame.  Well, at that age, same thing.  I’m just surprised he didn’t buy a Porsche.

 

A relevant recollection:  At the very first ad agency to employ me, back in the Age of Nixon, this one account executive in his early 40s showed up one day with bleached blond hair, wraparound shades, and a, shall we say, frolicsome demeanor.  The agency’s response was to send him to Hawaii for rest and rehab and to soften the blow of his firing.  

All I could think of was: Why didn’t I think of that?

 

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