Archive for August, 2009

I’VE HAD MY FILL O’ DELPHIA

August 16, 2009

Here are a couple of particularly stupid bits of wordplay referencing the Michael Vick circumstance, one of which I think is original with me, the other I doubt, but who knows what is media osmosis and what is drug-induced invention?  Anyway…

Soon to be a commonplace bumper sticker in the more liberal Philadelphia suburbs:

Hide your beagles /  Vick’s on the Eagles

and…

In a potentially brilliant countermove, the Oakland Raiders today signed Lynette “Squeaky” Fromm to a long-term contract…”

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THERE ARE SO MANY POSSIBLE WORD PLAYS THAT INVOLVE SUBSTITUTING THE WORD “HEALTH” FOR THE WORD “HELL” THAT IT’S BETTER TO NOT EVEN MESS WITH IT

August 15, 2009

It’s gotten to the point that upon hearing the words “health care” on either the tube or the radio I clutch for the remote or the dial and change stations with raw desperation.  I can’t take any more.  In a decent universe, where justice and fairness were the rule, you wouldn’t have to watch halfwits and lunatics shrieking about socialized medicine or death panels without also having the technological ability to shoot them.

One thing that gets my eyes rolling like dice is the part of the script where  “government insurance will be able to provide cheaper coverage than private companies, and will put them out of business.”  Yeah, that’s a basic rule of commerce, cheaper beats pricy.  It explains, for example, why Hyundai forced Lexus and Porsche into bankruptcy, how Target has erased Nordstrom from the earth, and the crushing of the Four Seasons chain by Motel 6.  

Idiotic.  In point of fact, the high end of any marketing spectrum is always secure, thanks to the competativeness, vanity, exhibitionism, and insanely inequitable distribution of resources that are the pillars of our happy capitalist system.  Private insurers will simply resort to the Big Caressing Lie that has worked for so many overpriced products:  “Because you’re worth it.”  

Or maybe, “You can’t spend too much on health.”

The hell you can’t.

I also notice that a good proportion of the town hall ravers, even a clear majority, are more or less my age, which is that of retirement.  Which isn’t surprising, given that those who stolidly oppose any sane, honorable national health care program — i.e. the Republican Party and the pharmaceutical and insurance industries — are as usual working the Fear angle with an almost possessed intensity, and it is Seniors who are most vulnerable to Fear.  Being a Senior myself, I make apologies for them, because I know what Seniors are so fearful of:

Graduating.

The other side knows that, too, and plays it like a marimba.  The assholes.

TODAY’S LAME GAG LINE

August 1, 2009

Snide Disembodied Voice #1:  “So Sarah Palin has actually quit as governor.  What could be going through her mind”?

SDV#2:  “Whatever it is, it’s got plenty of room to maneuver.”