Archive for April, 2010

WHY IT WILL BE OBAMA VS. GINGRICH IN 2012

April 24, 2010

 

Gingrich can run as an outsider, having not held public office since, what, 1934?  Okay, it was 1999, but that’s eleven years, in politics an epoch.  And he was blissfully out of power for 9/11, Iraq, the meltdown, all that ghastliness.  He’s well outside the Beltway.  And yet…

He can run as someone who’s familiar with the feel of the helm on our ship of state.  After all, as House Speaker (1995-99), he was second in line to the Oval Office had Clinton bit the dust.

He will play to the GOP’s red meat frothy screaming rightists better than anybody but the baked Alaskan.  He will have the advantage over her, of course, of being able to make sense and having a higher IQ than a bird feeder.  Oh sure, even he is outflanked to starboard by Ron Paul, but the Paulistas are no longer really on the political grid.

He has often displayed an ability to casually, easily, convincingly and unashamedly lie like a guy caught with the dictator’s daughter, a facility that GOP voters seem not just to forgive, but applaud and reward, as long as it is exercised in the process of vilifying libs.

Who can beat him?  Mitt?  Be serious. The man’s not a POTUS, he’s a GQ model, for Chrissake.  The GOP base has never liked nor trusted him and never will, which may be the high water mark of the base’s political acumen.  The Mittster would and will — not to put too fine a point on it  —  fuck the Pope’s cat in the ass on YouTube if it would get him elected.  

Gingrich, despite his self-portrayal as a man marinated in principles, is a gut fighter who can be utterly unprincipled, ruthless, vicious and vile in attacking anything he perceives as not in his best interest, and who will happily eviscerate any Republican standing between him and the brass ring.

He can come off as extremely professorial and intellectual when it serves his purpose; in contrast, almost nobody else with serious rightwing appeal can go on the Sunday Morning TV talkies without sounding like Chicken Little.  

He’s the domestic pol version of the Middle-east leader who says one thing in Arabic/Hebrew and another thing in English figuring, usually correctly, that both sides will buy it. 

And finally, who else, really, do they have in the Presidential pipeline?  Beyond the Newtinator, I crane my neck, and yet in all directions, naught do I espy.

Then again, I didn’t see Barak coming for at least two years after his 2004 convention speech, whereas Gloria was ready to start a campaign fund drive before the applause had even died down.

Nevertheless, if I were a betting man (and given my track record, surely a much poorer one), my money would be on Newt and Obama locking horns two years hence.  Certainly in a theatrical sense — which is increasingly indistinguishable from the political sense — it would be the bout of choice.

ACTUAL FACT: THE NRA OWNS 61 % OF ALL SMITH & WESSON STOCK. OKAY, I MADE THAT UP, BUT STILL, IT’S TRUE IN THE SAME SENSE THAT BUSH BEAT GORE

April 22, 2010

There was another item in the press today about “angry gun owners demonstrating in front of the White House,” which caused me, as such headlines have been doing since late in the Clinton Administration, to ask myself, “What the hell are they so fucking angry about?  What’s their gripe?”  

Their gripe, as usual and of course, is the endless and ongoing assault on their rights as gun owners.  Which should confirm for even the most resolute doubters that these people are either delusional or homicidal or both.  

Reality:  The tide, both in public opinion and case law, has been running so strong in favor of gun ownership by anyone, wherever and whenever and under whatever conditions, that you’d think the entire country had morphed into Tombstone or Dodge City or Richmond.  

Gun owners have not enjoyed this much political clout or freedom to bear arms since Andrew Jackson was president.  And yet they gather, furious, waving their fists, which increasingly are clenched around high-caliber assault rifles, and rage about their lack of freedom.  Are you kidding?  Freedom to do what?  

And I think that that question right there is the key to something.  They are now free to possess all the guns they want, of almost any kind they want, at any time and in any place and with few if any restrictions or qualifications, and yet they are not satisfied.  What are they so pissed about?  Just this, I suspect:  They’ve got the guns, but they’re not using the guns.  They’re still not getting to actually shoot at anyone!  

I mean, come on.  What’s the good of freedom to bear arms if you can’t discharge those arms at somebody?  Certainly the Founding Fathers wouldn’t have devoted an entire goddam Amendment to the Constitution guaranteeing our right to pack heat if they didn’t intend for us to exercise it.  And how else does one do such exercising?  Obviously, by shooting whatever one perceives to be a threat to whatever one perceives to be America.  

I tell you, these freaking gun nuts are just waiting for the first opportunity to break out their firearms and slaughter the rest of us to the last soul.  Thank God it became clear to me in time.  Naturally, thus enlightened, I have armed myself to the teeth.  Let these Second Amendment fanatics do their worst.  Bring it on, gun nuts!  Can you say “bazooka”?  Habla war surplus?  I’m tanned, rested, locked and loaded!!