Archive for May, 2010

I think George Carlin already used the title “Brain Droppings,” but that’s what we’re talking about here

May 24, 2010

You want to know why I don’t post more often?  No, of course you don’t.  You’re not even there.  Nobody actually reads these feeble scrawlings.  But I’ll tell you anyway, because like all blogs this is for the blogger and not the bloggees:  It’s because the routine output of my mind, if entered into the public record, could possibly be used as evidence in  some future competency hearing.  In a way that I’m sure would not be to my benefit.  

Consider today’s output of little inspiration flashes, the two notations I found worth notating:

1.  (In the voice of Woody Allen, mind you)   I am so depressed, I can’t believe it.  My reincarnation therapist revealed that in my last life I was a locust. 

 2.  My scenario for the definitive “tragicomedy”:  Sixteen orphans killed in a pie fight.  

Readers of this blog, be glad, glad, glad that you don’t exist.

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MEG ALOMANIA

May 6, 2010

Right from the start, I knew I probably wouldn’t agree with OR much like OR want to vote for Meg Whitman no matter how much money she spent.  Well, that is, assuming that she would be pissing the money away on political TV ad campaigns and not, say, placing it directly into a CD in my name in the sum of, oh, $40,000.  She would certainly have my vote then.  I am that classic nexus between Democracy and Capitalism:  my vote is always for sale, and when bought, I stay bought, at least until a higher bidder comes along.  To date, my mercantile approach to the ballot has netted me overall…let’s see…ah yes:  not a sou.  

But back to the subject, which is Ms. Whitman.  To review: The Megster made so very VERY much money when they brought her in to run this little fledgling outfit called eBay that she is now looking to use a heap of it to move up from yachts and mansions to actual entire states.  And that’s her sole claim to credibility: she ran eBay and made a breathtaking sum of money in the process.  Frankly, the argument just falls flat for me.  

Point number one:  a chimpanzee could have made a fortune if somebody had granted Cheetah a shitload of stock options at rock bottom price and then let economic nature take its course as the Net’s fait accompli official want ad website went platinum.  

Point number two:  there isn’t a political cartoonist in the country who hasn’t done some take on California’s financial situation that didn’t involve a depiction of the Titanic.

I don’t know, folks.  Frankly, taking a person who succeeded at a job almost no one could have failed at, and expecting her to now succeed at a job that almost anyone would fail at just doesn’t strike me as a winning strategy.

Then there are the numerous millions of dollars she evidently made by being made privy to stupendously profitable information which was provided to her by persons who sought her vote on the board of directors when it came to choosing between gambits that were (a) breathtakingly lucrative but resoundingly illegal, or (b) obscenely profitable but shamelessly felonious.  

Also, I just don’t care for the woman.  Based on her TV persona, I would say she has all the winning charm and engaging personality of a chronically cross Pekingese.  The fact is, she and her infuriatingly endless and repetitious TV attack spots assailing Steve Poizner have got me to the point of wanting to campaign not just for his nomination but for his canonization.